The importance of loving yourself

“The fundamental problem that most patients face is the inability to love themselves.” Bernie Siegel MD

I remember reading his book Love, Medicine and Miracles back at the end of the ’80’s and it resonated so deeply with me, something shifted inside.

Women of my generation have been taught to be perfectionists

We were taught that we need to be all things to all people

We were taught that to do something for ourselves,

to think of ourself was selfish … the very worst sin you could commit it seemed

Then you had people screaming that women can have it all

You could have children, be a mother AND have a high powered job

You could do anything and everything a man could do

What happened as a result of those high expectations was a generation of women who exhausted their bodies and their spirits trying to pack in all that they thought they were supposed to do

Be the 1950’s housewife with the perfect home & perfectly behaved children
and at the same time compete with men in the corporate world.

What an unsustainable, insurmountable goal that was!

In order to attempt to juggle all those balls in the air women had to sublimate their own needs to the needs of others.

When that happens our emotions have to shout louder and louder in order to get out attention

and because there is no time or space to focus on ourselves, plus we’ve been taught that to do so is wrong
thoughts and emotions get pushed further and further down
and that’s when the physical symptoms begin

[I read that martyrs experience chronic resentment – that was so me when my children were younger!]

When you look at this very simplified explanation you can see the problems this created,

both in my generation and the generations to follow.

Each generation tries to rebalance the wrongs they felt the previous generation inflicted upon them

I see the same things manifesting in my clients,
each generation having their own set of issues
and most of them say they feel stuck.

At the crux of all of it is the need
to be seen and heard, to be validated and acknowledged

and how quick the turnaround and change begins when that happens!

Focusing on yourself is not selfish,
experiencing pleasure is not selfish,
they are both crucial for vibrant health!

Money is the Root of All Evil …

Did you hear that when you were growing up? Perhaps you heard ….. ‘Money doesn’t grow on trees’, ‘we can’t afford it’, ‘I don’t know how we’re going to pay these bills’, ‘you need money to make money’, ‘you have to work hard to earn money’, ‘people like us don’t have/do that’ Or maybe you […]

Our body is always talking to us?

Sadly, most of us don’t listen.   Or we only listen when we are brought to our knees.   I admit that even though I have known this for a long time and have been teaching it for the past twenty years I don’t always listen.   I certainly haven’t been listening lately   How […]

What do you want people to say about you at your funeral?

‘What do you want people to say about you at your funeral?’ is a question I ask my students often. They find it confronting, which it’s meant to be. Once we discuss it for awhile, everyone sharing what they think, I then say, ‘now go out and live your life so that they will say […]

Gratitude is an Attitude

A funny story from a long time ago …

When I first heard about gratitude, years and years ago, I thought

that if I was grateful for what I had in that moment that meant I would be stuck there and never have anything better!

And because that was my belief at the time I didn’t carry out the act of gratitude for many many years.

Definitely not a smart move

I was living in Sydney at the time and wanted desperately to move out of the rat race to somewhere quieter that would feed my soul.

Twenty years ago next month the dream I had held onto for so long came to fruition

and we moved to Kiama, the best decision we ever made!

Before that eventuated I had to sit in the situation I was in at the time and have gratitude for all that I had in my life then and there

I had let go of the belief I’d had such a tight grip on that to be grateful in the moment meant I would be stuck there

So not true!

In fact it was the reverse

Once you begin to have gratitude for what you have in your life then more things start to flow to you

The most important thing is to know what it is you wish to manifest in your life

Most people when asked what they want in their life come up blank

We all have a great long list of all the things we don’t want and nothing on the ‘do want’ list

So what happens is we are focused on the ‘don’t want’ and surprise, surprise that’s what keeps on showing up!!

The lesson here is to have gratitude for everything you have in your life now (just look around you) and focus on what you do want in your life.

Gratitude is a powerful manifestation tool.

TIP: if you have a list of what you don’t want it is easy to flip it to what you do want

📷 by Donald Giannatti on Unsplash

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I’ve been asked this question so many times after twenty years as a practitioner and twelve years as an instructor I decided I needed to come up with a better answer than I’ve been able to thus far. It’s not easy to describe The old official definition was: “ThetaHealing is a meditation training technique utilizing […]