Are you having fun?

During a workshop I was a participant in I had a huge revelation . . . I realised that I had stopped having fun! 

We were taking part in an exercise in pairs and afterwards I noticed that my jaw was aching and that’s when the light bulb hit! It had been a long time since I had laughed that much.

Once I processed that fun was missing in my life, what followed quickly after was sadness.

When I delved into it further it appeared I had made an unconscious decision that because of the age I reached on my last birthday, I was supposed to be serious, the matriarch, the wise woman, a person who had their ‘shit’ together and all that had equated in my head to mean I could no longer be frivolous and fun.

When I scanned the past few years I realised that was indeed true.

My grandchildren are all growing up and no longer toddlers and my inner child no longer comes out to play with them.

Yes, I laugh with them as we play board games etc but it’s not the same as having fun and being silly with them like I did when they were young and we danced to The Wiggles.

I also realised that I don’t play music in the house the way I used to, so I have remedied that!

I joined a singing group. This was huge for me as I had been told as a child to stand in the choir and mime. Lots of old beliefs to work through to be able to front up to a group that had been singing together for some time.

I still sing quietly. But I feel fantastic and am on such a high when I get home!

I have had to give myself a severe ‘talking to’ and question where I got the idea that I had to be the serious grandmother. Once I realised where all those rubbish beliefs came from I was able to release them.

The side effect and huge bonus in all this is that my health has improved! Imagine that!

How do you make sure you are having fun in your life?


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The importance of loving yourself

“The fundamental problem that most patients face is the inability to love themselves.” Bernie Siegel MD

I remember reading his book Love, Medicine and Miracles back at the end of the ’80’s and it resonated so deeply with me, something shifted inside.

Women of my generation have been taught to be perfectionists

We were taught that we need to be all things to all people

We were taught that to do something for ourselves,

to think of ourself was selfish … the very worst sin you could commit it seemed

Then you had people screaming that women can have it all

You could have children, be a mother AND have a high powered job

You could do anything and everything a man could do

What happened as a result of those high expectations was a generation of women who exhausted their bodies and their spirits trying to pack in all that they thought they were supposed to do

Be the 1950’s housewife with the perfect home & perfectly behaved children
and at the same time compete with men in the corporate world.

What an unsustainable, insurmountable goal that was!

In order to attempt to juggle all those balls in the air women had to sublimate their own needs to the needs of others.

When that happens our emotions have to shout louder and louder in order to get out attention

and because there is no time or space to focus on ourselves, plus we’ve been taught that to do so is wrong
thoughts and emotions get pushed further and further down
and that’s when the physical symptoms begin

[I read that martyrs experience chronic resentment – that was so me when my children were younger!]

When you look at this very simplified explanation you can see the problems this created,

both in my generation and the generations to follow.

Each generation tries to rebalance the wrongs they felt the previous generation inflicted upon them

I see the same things manifesting in my clients,
each generation having their own set of issues
and most of them say they feel stuck.

At the crux of all of it is the need
to be seen and heard, to be validated and acknowledged

and how quick the turnaround and change begins when that happens!

Focusing on yourself is not selfish,
experiencing pleasure is not selfish,
they are both crucial for vibrant health!

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Money is the Root of All Evil …

Did you hear that when you were growing up? Perhaps you heard ….. ‘Money doesn’t grow on trees’, ‘we can’t afford it’, ‘I don’t know how we’re going to pay these bills’, ‘you need money to make money’, ‘you have to work hard to earn

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Our body is always talking to us?

Sadly, most of us don’t listen.   Or we only listen when we are brought to our knees.   I admit that even though I have known this for a long time and have been teaching it for the past twenty years I don’t always

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