Music to my ears!

Ahhhh!!! The sweet sound of a power tool as it rents the morning air! Normally an irritation, now because it’s been so long coming, it is music to my ears

Seven years ago we moved into this house and as you do when you buy a house you discuss all the things about it that you want to change so you can stamp your personality on your new home. This was only the second house we had bought, and as the first one was 35 years before, the idea of renovating was exciting. We have done many small renovations, the most extensive was downstairs in my clinic where we put in new floor and walls, new window surrounds, then painted all the walls and timberwork and put in new front doors. Upstairs we took out archways, ripped up carpet, painted all the timberwork white, polished the floorboards and laid new carpet in the bedrooms, changed light fittings and door knobs. We dug out and replanted the entire front garden and now have an amazing looking hedge. This was not done in a linear process, it was done in a stop start rhythm usually in time with our savings

Early on we discussed extending the front balcony to make it large enough to accommodate a table and seating so that we would have an entertaining area, something the house was sadly lacking. A balcony would also improve the street appeal of the house, as currently the balcony has Corinthian columns coupled with Victorian lacework railings which are both white and don’t do much to complement the brickwork. We have discussed at length how it could be configured with everyone who came to stay.

There was not the gold in the coffers to fund such a renovation so it was put on hold until last year when plans were made, drawn up, scrutinised, drawn up again, sent to the council, rejigged by an engineer (who wanted a steel beam to be inserted into the roof which would require a crane and mega dollars, we would then have been able to build a three storey house on top, but as we were not changing the roof we (and the builder) felt as if this was over engineering to the max! We paid his exorbitant fee and then engaged another engineer who was more than happy with a timber beam, which would not require a crane to put it in place. Then some issues with the building alignment, so we waited until a new building code was passed by council. Had letters signed by neighbours on either side to say that their view would not be impeded by our balcony being extended 2 metres. Finally, the letter from the council saying it was approved. But of course in the meantime the builder had another project!

We had hoped when we started the process last year to have a completed balcony to entertain our family on at Christmas. Obviously we didn’t meet that target and consequently we entertained 10 adults and 9 children inside for the Christmas festivities.

Christmas came and went and we (foolishly) assumed that building would commence in the new year, but alas no, the builder was busy with a big contract and couldn’t start until later in the year. He did say he could start in June, and then last Monday and finally they came yesterday! Now here we are the middle of July wondering indeed if we will be having Christmas lunch out on the new balcony this year.

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Maiya's Latest Musings

The importance of loving yourself

“The fundamental problem that most patients face is the inability to love themselves.” Bernie Siegel MD

I remember reading his book Love, Medicine and Miracles back at the end of the ’80’s and it resonated so deeply with me, something shifted inside.

Women of my generation have been taught to be perfectionists

We were taught that we need to be all things to all people

We were taught that to do something for ourselves,

to think of ourself was selfish … the very worst sin you could commit it seemed

Then you had people screaming that women can have it all

You could have children, be a mother AND have a high powered job

You could do anything and everything a man could do

What happened as a result of those high expectations was a generation of women who exhausted their bodies and their spirits trying to pack in all that they thought they were supposed to do

Be the 1950’s housewife with the perfect home & perfectly behaved children
and at the same time compete with men in the corporate world.

What an unsustainable, insurmountable goal that was!

In order to attempt to juggle all those balls in the air women had to sublimate their own needs to the needs of others.

When that happens our emotions have to shout louder and louder in order to get out attention

and because there is no time or space to focus on ourselves, plus we’ve been taught that to do so is wrong
thoughts and emotions get pushed further and further down
and that’s when the physical symptoms begin

[I read that martyrs experience chronic resentment – that was so me when my children were younger!]

When you look at this very simplified explanation you can see the problems this created,

both in my generation and the generations to follow.

Each generation tries to rebalance the wrongs they felt the previous generation inflicted upon them

I see the same things manifesting in my clients,
each generation having their own set of issues
and most of them say they feel stuck.

At the crux of all of it is the need
to be seen and heard, to be validated and acknowledged

and how quick the turnaround and change begins when that happens!

Focusing on yourself is not selfish,
experiencing pleasure is not selfish,
they are both crucial for vibrant health!

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Money is the Root of All Evil …

Did you hear that when you were growing up? Perhaps you heard ….. ‘Money doesn’t grow on trees’, ‘we can’t afford it’, ‘I don’t know how we’re going to pay these bills’, ‘you need money to make money’, ‘you have to work hard to earn

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Our body is always talking to us?

Sadly, most of us don’t listen.   Or we only listen when we are brought to our knees.   I admit that even though I have known this for a long time and have been teaching it for the past twenty years I don’t always

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