Sending love from the future

Today is my wedding anniversary.

This time 41 years ago today I was getting ready for my wedding.  I had spent the night before at my parent’s house, which is where I was living at the time.  My son, who was 13 months old, had been up all night with an ear infection so someone had to take him to the doctors. I drove the bridesmaids to the hairdressers and then ran around trying to find them a ‘spencer’, as it was called in those days, to go under a scooped neck short sleeved dress because, surprise, surprise, the weather had turned cold!

I wasn’t having my hair done preferring to leave my long, dark straight hair au naturel. I can remember saying at the time that there would be nothing worse than walking down the aisle towards your groom and having him wonder who this was coming towards him! I was married in white, with a veil but no train, and I was very confident knowing that I could hold my head up high. Because I was honest, everyone knew that I had had a baby, unlike many girls I knew who were pregnant when they walked down the aisle.

Life was very different back in 1972 and I was very black and white!

What was I thinking that day 41 years ago?

While I was getting ready I was thinking of nothing more than getting to the church on time. If I’m totally honest I was looking forward to being a ‘princess’ for a day, a dream I’d had since I was a little girl. I know I was concerned about my son who wasn’t coming to the wedding and was going to stay with my parents while we drove to the Gold Coast for a week’s honeymoon. My brother-in-law’s wedding gift was to lend us his VW for the week as we didn’t have a car.

I know I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a family and I knew in my head just how that would ‘look’. I assumed things would work out, I assumed if I threw enough love around everything would be fine. After all, I had all those Hollywood movies to guide me.

When I look back now from this vantage point I am very proud of that 19 year old and the decisions she made. She had no idea what life was about nor did she have any idea of what marriage entailed or motherhood for that matter. It was on the job training at its most intense!

Here I lie all these years later, next to that boy that I married, while he sleeps on this cold morning with the rain pouring outside and I ponder as I write. He has said before that he had no idea what he was getting himself into when he got married, he was so young and inexperienced. He just knew he wanted to be with me.

It certainly hasn’t been a smooth road, nor is it meant to be, life isn’t like that – we need challenges in order to grow. And grow we certainly have – physically, emotionally, spiritually and as a family ~ well done us!!

So to that young couple getting married in Sydney on 24th June 1972…

~ Congratulations!!! Best wishes!! Good luck!!~

I am here from your future to tell you that in 41 years time you will have weathered the ups and downs of life and will still be together. With a relationship much deeper and stronger than you could ever imagine now from where you stand? You have 4 children, 4 children in-law and 9 grandchildren. Keep that end in mind as you travail life’s highways and by ways.

No, it’s not going to be easy, but anything worth having is worth working for. And marriage is something that everyone needs to work at – constantly.

My advice to you is: stay connected and talk to each other. During those years when the kids are little it’s very easy to lose each other in the busyness of it all.

Money will be tight at the beginning but once the kids all leave home, you will move to a beautiful seaside town, start to travel and see the world. And you will spend time with that beautiful family you have created. Life is beautiful. Life is exactly what you make it. So enjoy!




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“The fundamental problem that most patients face is the inability to love themselves.” Bernie Siegel MD

I remember reading his book Love, Medicine and Miracles back at the end of the ’80’s and it resonated so deeply with me, something shifted inside.

Women of my generation have been taught to be perfectionists

We were taught that we need to be all things to all people

We were taught that to do something for ourselves,

to think of ourself was selfish … the very worst sin you could commit it seemed

Then you had people screaming that women can have it all

You could have children, be a mother AND have a high powered job

You could do anything and everything a man could do

What happened as a result of those high expectations was a generation of women who exhausted their bodies and their spirits trying to pack in all that they thought they were supposed to do

Be the 1950’s housewife with the perfect home & perfectly behaved children
and at the same time compete with men in the corporate world.

What an unsustainable, insurmountable goal that was!

In order to attempt to juggle all those balls in the air women had to sublimate their own needs to the needs of others.

When that happens our emotions have to shout louder and louder in order to get out attention

and because there is no time or space to focus on ourselves, plus we’ve been taught that to do so is wrong
thoughts and emotions get pushed further and further down
and that’s when the physical symptoms begin

[I read that martyrs experience chronic resentment – that was so me when my children were younger!]

When you look at this very simplified explanation you can see the problems this created,

both in my generation and the generations to follow.

Each generation tries to rebalance the wrongs they felt the previous generation inflicted upon them

I see the same things manifesting in my clients,
each generation having their own set of issues
and most of them say they feel stuck.

At the crux of all of it is the need
to be seen and heard, to be validated and acknowledged

and how quick the turnaround and change begins when that happens!

Focusing on yourself is not selfish,
experiencing pleasure is not selfish,
they are both crucial for vibrant health!

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Did you hear that when you were growing up? Perhaps you heard ….. ‘Money doesn’t grow on trees’, ‘we can’t afford it’, ‘I don’t know how we’re going to pay these bills’, ‘you need money to make money’, ‘you have to work hard to earn

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Our body is always talking to us?

Sadly, most of us don’t listen.   Or we only listen when we are brought to our knees.   I admit that even though I have known this for a long time and have been teaching it for the past twenty years I don’t always

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