Sending love from the future

Today is my wedding anniversary.

This time 41 years ago today I was getting ready for my wedding.  I had spent the night before at my parent’s house, which is where I was living at the time.  My son, who was 13 months old, had been up all night with an ear infection so someone had to take him to the doctors. I drove the bridesmaids to the hairdressers and then ran around trying to find them a ‘spencer’, as it was called in those days, to go under a scooped neck short sleeved dress because, surprise, surprise, the weather had turned cold!

I wasn’t having my hair done preferring to leave my long, dark straight hair au naturel. I can remember saying at the time that there would be nothing worse than walking down the aisle towards your groom and having him wonder who this was coming towards him! I was married in white, with a veil but no train, and I was very confident knowing that I could hold my head up high. Because I was honest, everyone knew that I had had a baby, unlike many girls I knew who were pregnant when they walked down the aisle.

Life was very different back in 1972 and I was very black and white!

What was I thinking that day 41 years ago?

While I was getting ready I was thinking of nothing more than getting to the church on time. If I’m totally honest I was looking forward to being a ‘princess’ for a day, a dream I’d had since I was a little girl. I know I was concerned about my son who wasn’t coming to the wedding and was going to stay with my parents while we drove to the Gold Coast for a week’s honeymoon. My brother-in-law’s wedding gift was to lend us his VW for the week as we didn’t have a car.

I know I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a family and I knew in my head just how that would ‘look’. I assumed things would work out, I assumed if I threw enough love around everything would be fine. After all, I had all those Hollywood movies to guide me.

When I look back now from this vantage point I am very proud of that 19 year old and the decisions she made. She had no idea what life was about nor did she have any idea of what marriage entailed or motherhood for that matter. It was on the job training at its most intense!

Here I lie all these years later, next to that boy that I married, while he sleeps on this cold morning with the rain pouring outside and I ponder as I write. He has said before that he had no idea what he was getting himself into when he got married, he was so young and inexperienced. He just knew he wanted to be with me.

It certainly hasn’t been a smooth road, nor is it meant to be, life isn’t like that – we need challenges in order to grow. And grow we certainly have – physically, emotionally, spiritually and as a family ~ well done us!!

So to that young couple getting married in Sydney on 24th June 1972…

~ Congratulations!!! Best wishes!! Good luck!!~

I am here from your future to tell you that in 41 years time you will have weathered the ups and downs of life and will still be together. With a relationship much deeper and stronger than you could ever imagine now from where you stand? You have 4 children, 4 children in-law and 9 grandchildren. Keep that end in mind as you travail life’s highways and by ways.

No, it’s not going to be easy, but anything worth having is worth working for. And marriage is something that everyone needs to work at – constantly.

My advice to you is: stay connected and talk to each other. During those years when the kids are little it’s very easy to lose each other in the busyness of it all.

Money will be tight at the beginning but once the kids all leave home, you will move to a beautiful seaside town, start to travel and see the world. And you will spend time with that beautiful family you have created. Life is beautiful. Life is exactly what you make it. So enjoy!

 

 

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