The magic of surrender

It’s been a very long time since I have sat down to write a blog. Six and a half weeks ago I broke my ankle and the next day I wrote myself a list of what I wanted to achieve in the following 2 weeks. Needless to say, none of them were done. Why was that? I had the time, I was stuck in bed with nothing else to do, there was no housework to distract me or other things I could do which I normally use for procrastinating. The bottom line was that my head wasn’t ‘there’, the muse had left the building. I was just unable to write. I blame the pain and the pain killers and then later the anaesthetic, which always have a detrimental effect on my brain. I have had anaesthetics before and I think the after effects must be like dementia, I just couldn’t make my brain work. I knew I knew how to do it but I couldn’t work out the process that was required to do the task, it was exhausting.

I have managed in the ensuing weeks to finish all the other things on the list but today is the first day I have been drawn to sit here and write a blog.

Today is the last day I will be home on my own during the day. My husband finishes work this afternoon and then we will be with family until mid-way through January, there will be no time or space for writing…or for doing any internal work which is what I have spent the time doing.

What have I done over the past 6 ½ weeks? I have dealt with the frustration of having the rest of the year planned out and having those plans thwarted. I have come to terms with the fact that the Universe had plans that were very different to mine and I had no control over that. I have worked on the issues that I had said I wanted to deal with before the end of the year. So that I can move into 2014 free of all that very heavy baggage that I had been carting around for such a long time. Now in hindsight I can say ‘thank you’ to the Universe, but it took me sometime to come to that place.

I did heaps and heaps of ThetaHealing® on myself each time an issue came up. I had phone healings with friends to heal the physical as well as the emotional. But there was still a very long held issue that was proving elusive and it escalated, as these things do when they are coming up to be released. While I was lying in bed trying to ‘run’ from the issue that I needed and wanted to address because I was sick and tired of it being such a stumbling block. I can laugh now (or maybe just an indulgent smile) but I was literally kicking and screaming to avoid having to deal with it, tears and tantrums actually. Finally late on a Friday afternoon after an exhausting week of misery …. I gave up, I gave in, I surrendered …. and a very surprising thing happened ….
It just disappeared!!

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I remember reading his book Love, Medicine and Miracles back at the end of the ’80’s and it resonated so deeply with me, something shifted inside.

Women of my generation have been taught to be perfectionists

We were taught that we need to be all things to all people

We were taught that to do something for ourselves,

to think of ourself was selfish … the very worst sin you could commit it seemed

Then you had people screaming that women can have it all

You could have children, be a mother AND have a high powered job

You could do anything and everything a man could do

What happened as a result of those high expectations was a generation of women who exhausted their bodies and their spirits trying to pack in all that they thought they were supposed to do

Be the 1950’s housewife with the perfect home & perfectly behaved children
and at the same time compete with men in the corporate world.

What an unsustainable, insurmountable goal that was!

In order to attempt to juggle all those balls in the air women had to sublimate their own needs to the needs of others.

When that happens our emotions have to shout louder and louder in order to get out attention

and because there is no time or space to focus on ourselves, plus we’ve been taught that to do so is wrong
thoughts and emotions get pushed further and further down
and that’s when the physical symptoms begin

[I read that martyrs experience chronic resentment – that was so me when my children were younger!]

When you look at this very simplified explanation you can see the problems this created,

both in my generation and the generations to follow.

Each generation tries to rebalance the wrongs they felt the previous generation inflicted upon them

I see the same things manifesting in my clients,
each generation having their own set of issues
and most of them say they feel stuck.

At the crux of all of it is the need
to be seen and heard, to be validated and acknowledged

and how quick the turnaround and change begins when that happens!

Focusing on yourself is not selfish,
experiencing pleasure is not selfish,
they are both crucial for vibrant health!

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