Gratitude – 101

There is so much talk about gratitude these days, we are surrounded by it.   I remember years ago I spent hours writing sayings in a beautiful journal for my mother. I had an angel stamp so I sprinkled gold angels randomly through the journal. I thought it looked beautiful and inspiring.   I was going through a creative phase at that point and I was busily making things for people.   My mother was a negative woman and I was trying to give her some positives to focus on to help her change her mindset.   When I found the journal a long time later Mum had sadly only written two lines.   The two things that she could find to be grateful were: A lovely house to live in and a wonderful family   I had talked to her and tried to get her to focus on the things she could see –
  • the view of the lake from her family room window.
  • the beautiful plants in her garden
  • the birds in the bird bath
Basically, focus on the smaller things in life. For me it’s the smell of the roses from my garden when I have them on my desk; the birds on the trees outside my window; the sound of the wind in the bamboo   It brings such a warm glow inside when I notice and appreciate the small things that I have.   Abundance and gratitude go hand in hand. When you have gratitude for the small things you realise how much abundance you have in your life … and what we have all learnt from the Law of Attraction, what you focus on expands as draws more abundance to you   I have found one way to really focus on a state of gratitude is to imagine you are writing a book and describe in great detail what you can see when you look at for example, a tree – the texture and colour of the bark, the shape of the leaves, are they the same green as the tree nearby?   I have bamboo outside my bedroom window and I love lying on my bed watching the bamboo move in the breeze, I notice all the sprouting of the new growth, the drops of water on the leaves if it has rained and most of all I notice how much it has grown and is giving me privacy from the house next door which is very close.   Then I imagine I am writing it for a book. I’m describing it in such great detail that the reader will see in their mind exactly what I am seeing   This has helped me to slow down, look, notice and see the beauty all around me. I see it in the small things … and it gives me such a warm sensation in my body   Try it … and let me know how it is for you!  

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Women of my generation have been taught to be perfectionists

We were taught that we need to be all things to all people

We were taught that to do something for ourselves,

to think of ourself was selfish … the very worst sin you could commit it seemed

Then you had people screaming that women can have it all

You could have children, be a mother AND have a high powered job

You could do anything and everything a man could do

What happened as a result of those high expectations was a generation of women who exhausted their bodies and their spirits trying to pack in all that they thought they were supposed to do

Be the 1950’s housewife with the perfect home & perfectly behaved children
and at the same time compete with men in the corporate world.

What an unsustainable, insurmountable goal that was!

In order to attempt to juggle all those balls in the air women had to sublimate their own needs to the needs of others.

When that happens our emotions have to shout louder and louder in order to get out attention

and because there is no time or space to focus on ourselves, plus we’ve been taught that to do so is wrong
thoughts and emotions get pushed further and further down
and that’s when the physical symptoms begin

[I read that martyrs experience chronic resentment – that was so me when my children were younger!]

When you look at this very simplified explanation you can see the problems this created,

both in my generation and the generations to follow.

Each generation tries to rebalance the wrongs they felt the previous generation inflicted upon them

I see the same things manifesting in my clients,
each generation having their own set of issues
and most of them say they feel stuck.

At the crux of all of it is the need
to be seen and heard, to be validated and acknowledged

and how quick the turnaround and change begins when that happens!

Focusing on yourself is not selfish,
experiencing pleasure is not selfish,
they are both crucial for vibrant health!

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