It has been an interesting week with a full gamut of emotions. I went from incredible rage at the weekend to peace and calm now. From pain and immobility to taking the drugs and feeling invincible, like superwoman. Now, to find the balance between the two.
The anger and frustration that I felt at the weekend was like a volcano inside me just ready to explode. I wasn’t even sure what it was all about. I have felt like that before and when it happens I just want to take off, to run away. I have had two ThetaHealing sessions this week and we removed the cause of the situation. Some was past life stuff and some very early stuff with my mother. Which is why I had no words to explain how I felt because it was picked up before I had language, and the wanting to run or get away came from then.
Because of the pain I was in at the weekend I decided to go back on the prednisolone for another 3 days. As soon as I took the first one the pain went. One of the things I was frustrated about was the state of my garden. So with the pain gone and fuelled by frustration and determination I went to the nursery, bought 8 pots of bamboo and planted them in the garden. Now keep in mind that I had trouble squeezing the toothpaste out of the tube before and now here I was digging holes, pulling plants out and even cutting the bamboo roots in half which was a difficult task and one I knew at the time I would pay for later. But the anger pushed me on and when I had finished with the sweat pouring down my face I felt fantastic. A huge weight had been lifted, I didn’t and wasn’t going to be the invalid that would never be able to do this again, I didn’t have to be that person. I felt as if I had taken back control of my life, I felt good.
I had a Theta session yesterday and removed more of the stuff with my mother, I now no longer need to take on her pain, which I had done all my life, I feel as if I can cast off this ‘condition’ whatever it is. The proof will be in the pudding as they say so only time will tell.
But as I lay in the bath last night I realised I had a smile on my face and I felt as if I had taken back control of my body ~ strange but true!