I have a confession to make. This week I have been spending time on myself. Oh! Shock horror! Everyone born in the fifties will know that that is the worst thing you could possibly do. That is so selfish. We were brought up to think of other people before ourselves. We were taught to put everyone else’s needs before our own. Then when we became mothers, we were most definitely meant to be last on the list. We had the smallest serving and our meal was usually cold. If visitors arrived you would share the food around to make sure they had some and if there wasn’t enough you would go without. We were most definitely not the ‘me’ generation, the opposite in fact whatever that is.
The first therapy I studied when I first started my life in alternate therapies was massage. While I was studying the other modalities I was seeing paid clients for massage. Over and over I would see women my age that found it very difficult to spend money on themselves. They didn’t value themselves, they didn’t put themselves high enough up their list of priorities. They would save up the money to have a massage and then one of the children would need a pair of shoes and the money would go on that. Keep in mind that this was 20 years ago, the world has changed in the intervening years, the baby boomers are in a very difference space now, both emotionally and financially.
Back to where I was. Focusing on myself. I have had a quiet week this week, just a few clients and a movie night plus a networking lunch yesterday, and I have taken this as a sign that I need to spend this time on me. I have meditated. I have put new sayings and photos on the wall behind my computer. I have visualised. I have eaten food that has nurtured my body, maybe not everything that has gone in my mouth but the majority of it. I have spent time in the garden. I have spent time on my business. I have gained clarity on my life. I have gained clarity on my business. I have gained clarity on where I want my life to be in 10 years. Through all of this I have realised I have been feeling positive and this morning I realised that the negative soundtrack that has run through my head for what seems like forever has gone!! This entire week has been in such contrast to the anger that was boiling up inside me over the weekend (see last post).
I had a ThetaHealing® session over the phone with a colleague in Sydney. We did some more work on me carrying stuff of my mother’s. Now, I will admit that I thought I had worked on all of my mother issues, I have been at it for years, but here was something that had been hiding away from me with all the work I had done on myself. This morning I had an appointment with the osteopath and she worked on my back which was really jammed up, it now feels much freer as do my arms and wrists.
I have such clarity on how I have manifested everything in my life up to this point. I manifested the pain, the inflammation, the inability to look after myself. (As well as all the good stuff of course)
I was so focused on how dreadful it was to turn 60, on the downside of it all that that is what I manifested. I have had such revelations this last week it has been amazing. So much easier to hear when the subliminal negative track has been erased. Now to press on and manifest a different reality, a more positive one, where sixty is sexy and sensational.