I had an epiphany last week. It was so obvious I yelled out ‘Duh!’
Hindsight is a fascinating thing . . . when we use it that is!
I was getting ready to go out the other day and a thought popped into my head,
‘I don’t feel old!’
Followed by, ‘yet for the past two years, or more, I have felt so old’ (old, sluggish, weighed down)
then the next thought quickly followed,
‘how bizarre is that? I feel younger at 72 than I did at 70’,
and moved on with the next thing I was doing.
I was off to a shamanic circle and had a very profound journey while I was there.
For the past few years I have felt lost, detached, cut off, from Source, my guides and other people.
I knew I had slipped down into that hole again but none of the processes I have used before were working
and if I’m honest I wasn’t doing them properly.
My husband would try to get me engaged with the outside world but I kept saying ‘No!’
I had given up parts of my life, my identity and now looking back I can see that there was a huge hole and grief around that
In 2019, after twenty years, I was no longer continue as a Bowen therapist because of the arthritis in my fingers and wrists. Then at the end of 2023 I stopped teaching ThetaHealing courses.
I was so absolutely certain that the next thing I was meant to do would drop in when I finally closed the door.
So I waited and I waited, and nothing happened. I had absolutely no clarity on what I was ‘supposed’ to do next.
For years and years I had had a very clear idea on the direction I was meant to be going
My connection to Source was strong and clear, my intuition was my guiding force,
until suddenly it wasn’t.
I was getting nothing, it was as if I was surrounded by thick fog.
I became more and more despondent,
I withdrew further into myself
And funnily enough no clients came
so that made me more despondent, depressed I finally admitted to myself.
I was putting that energy out into the world
and who would want to come and see someone who was energetically telling them to go away?! No one of course!
I questioned if I was meant to retire,
when I sat with that I didn’t like it, I felt I still had something worthwhile to offer the world,
I just didn’t know what that something ‘looked like’.
So at the end of last year I focused on Christmas and getting ready to host 21 people for 5 days.
I cleaned out cupboards and set up the Christmas decorations, the airbeds ….
Having told my kids they were in charge of food I found I was inspired to make some of the things I used to make years ago
I wasn’t sure where that motivation and energy came from but it lasted and I made them
I coped with all those people in my space, which in the past would have sent me hiding in my bedroom
But, I later realised, I not only coped, I enjoyed myself!
Then when the last of the family left after ten days I started cleaning up the house, washing the mountain of bedding and towels and made the house presentable for the revolving door of people who were going to stay here while we were away.
We then drove, with Rosie, from Kiama to Melbourne, where our two sons live, to mind our two youngest grandchildren (8 & 10) for three weeks while their parents worked.
We stayed at our eldest son’s house and drove each morning to the youngest one’s.
There was lots of to-ing and fro-ing between the houses
We’d buy food and each time I’d want something it would be at the other house
The first two weekends we drove 2 hours down to Deans Marsh (up in the hills behind Lorne) to our eldest son’s farm.
I commented I felt like we were on a European bus tour having to pack up and leave at a certain time each day
Rosie was dizzy with all the different locations she was expected to lay her head, especially when one of the houses had a cat … she is terrified of cats!
I had a birthday lunch with all the family on the Saturday and we drove home the next day.
We have been home a week now and the washing has been done, airbeds packed away and the house put back together. It has been vacuumed and mopped plus a good sage-ing from top to bottom.
It was only later when I was pondering those thoughts that I realised that
I have been going flat out for the past three months and I haven’t collapsed in a heap
In the past I would have been exhausted and needed to ‘take to the bed’ as my mother-in-law used to say
How interesting
And the only difference from the past to now is …
I’ve been drinking Happy Juice first thing every morning!
Fascinating when you think about it
and how true it’s name is
there’s a light inside me now that before had been snuffed out
I tried so hard to reignite it using all my tools
It was as if when I had my 70th birthday all the group consciousness beliefs about ageing suddenly surrounded me like a heavy cloak I couldn’t remove
Beliefs I didn’t consciously acknowledge
but they must have been in there, tucked away, hiding in the dark
for them to affect me.
How can a pink juice change those beliefs?
There are some amazing stories about the changes Happy Juice is making in people’s lives, both children and adults
Changing the gut microbiome changes the way the brain works!
If you’d like to know more send me a message.
Now back to the epiphany . . .
during the journey I met my future self and whilst she had much to say the main thing was –
I need to focus on how I want to BE not on what I want to DO
How do I want to feel when I am just Being?
So much more flowed on from that and I will be incorporating it into my sessions and teachings.
Suffice to say ‘I’m back!’ and rarin’ to go!
My 1:1 sessions are available now BOOK HERE and I will let you know about my other offerings soon.
