I was so looking forward to saying goodbye to 2012 and welcoming in the new and the change of energies in 2013. I presumed that the health challenges would be left behind and I could move forward freer and easier. I foolishly thought that 2012 ended on 31st December.
Before Christmas I had three colonics and I felt fantastic so I really did think that literally I was cleaning out the old and getting ready for the new. I had more energy than I had had any time during the year so I put it to good use. I gardened, I cleaned, I sorted out cupboards, I had someone come in and give me a wardrobe makeover (which was fabulous and I highly recommend it) I bought new clothes and I truly believed that I had release the old and had embraced the new.
My family came and stayed here over Christmas, 19 in total now, and silly me, I cleaned the house, I packed up my clinic and turned it into a master suite, I cleaned out the garage, laid carpet and made it into a sleep and play area for the children. I was slowing down by the end of it but I pushed on, it just had to get done and I was the one to do it! Buy the time I had finished my whole body hurt and seized up and I couldn’t move my right shoulder!
I would like to interject here and say that I had a wonderful time with my children and grandchildren, it was wonderful and a little miraculous to see that this lonely, only child had created for her grandchildren the family she so desperately wanted when she was little, to be surrounded by people who loved and treasured her.
I have been in pain since Christmas. Then my neck got involved and then both arms and then the fingers on both hands wouldn’t move and were extremely painful. I became very pissed off and railed against the Universe asking why and what was the lesson I was meant to understand. Then I went into a panic and fear popped in and I decided I had a neurological problem ~ it is so easy to spiral down when you let fear take hold, and pain will do that. Last Tuesday night when I had had enough of the pain I took some Panedeine Extra and took myself off to bed. I was woken up 3 hours later with these incredible pains reminiscent of the gall bladder attacks I used to get (when I had a gall bladder), these pains continued unabated for four hours. Somewhere in the middle of it all I remembered when I had been given morphine in hospital (when I was sans gall bladder) and the indescribable pain that resulted I was told was the bile ducts spasming. If I could have hit myself over the head and knocked myself out at the time I would have!
Suffice to say I have been a not very happy and exhausted camper these last few weeks.
I have a birthday at the end of January and for at least the past ten years I have spent January setting goals, finishing off any unfinished tasks, in other words clearing the slate ready to begin MY new year on the 1st of February. Each year I organised to have a relaxing massage, maybe a facial, had a Bowen Therapy treatment, started an exercise routine, ate healthily, wrote lists, sets goals ~ all the things I would encourage my clients to do. But this year when I started to plan out the year and set goals I was so overcome by the pain I was in I did very little. It was hard to be upbeat and motivated when I couldn’t use my hands ~ OK enough of the sad sack story.
I have been having colonics, had an ultrasound, been seeing a naturopath, an osteopath and a fabulous massage therapist and slowly I feel like I am coming back into my body. I had a stern lecture from the massage therapist telling me I had let myself go and that I should know that you can’t keep giving out to people without looking after yourself. I thought I had been doing an OK job at looking after myself but apparently not. And when you add up all the years I’ve been giving it’s no wonder my body has finally said ‘enough!’
There has now been a shift, I have also been doing inner work on myself using ThetaHealing and then I read that the energies of 2012 have carried over to the beginning of January, and the panic has subsided. I will continue with the massage therapist and help this poor little body to correct its posture and relax the muscles that have been held tight for most of my life. And I vow that this year of 2013 I will treasure this body I have been given. I will nourish it and exercise it and stretch it and nurture it and love it as it deserves to be loved ~ as if it was my grandchild.
Tune in next time and find out how I celebrated my significant birthday!!!
